the year of the ox

February Ninth

2012-02-13T22:41:00.001-08:00

When I ask David to take a picture he sometimes snaps ones when I'm not ready, and they always turn out to be my favorite. In part because I have a terrible posing face but also because it catches little details of with Nellie. I hip bounce this girl dozens of times a day but never had a picture. And I will sorely miss carrying her this way when she gets too big.

Family picture

The present I picked out for myself. It needs a chain that will fit it. I sure do love to see her name spelled out.

My birthday began with me waking at 6 am with a soaked shirt and the panicked realization that Penelope had not woken to nurse in the night. She has never done this. I ran into her room to make sure she was breathing and lo and behold she was! First present of the day: Nellie sleeping for 11.5 hours straight!

Presents to follow were breakfast in bed, getting a massage, gourmet lunch, and dinner at Andina's. David surprised me and arranged for Jon and Mal to watch Nellie while we were gone. As this would be the first time we had ever left her with anyone he gave me some time to get emotionally prepared. I tried not to think about all the bad things that might happen to orphan her in the time we would be separated and just think about having fun.

Well, Nellie was an angel straight from Heaven and fell asleep right when I put her down in Theo's pack and play and continued to sleep until we woke her up to take her home. Which is very fortunate because I could not have left had she been crying. Thank you angel baby. And thank you Hall family.

Dinner was incredible. We got an awesome table, I wasn't worried about the loud music or the being out late. It felt like a date from when we were dating, we were a little giddy. Which is just what we needed. Just before I put Nellie to bed I teared up a little, not sure if I could go through with it, and by the end of dinner (last picture) I was like "Baby? What baby?" Not really though, she's all we talked about. But dates are so great! And twenty-nine is feeling really good.

Real Life

2012-02-13T22:41:00.000-08:00

Just before we moved. But our table is often that messy.

This is her reaction after we told her we were going to cut her hair.

David informed me that the reason my computer is slow is because we have taken 5,800 photos of Penelope in the last 6.5 months. That breaks down to 893 photos per month or 29 photos per day or 1.25 photos per hour of her life thus far. Here are a few of those.

I had been adamant about never cutting my precious baby's hair, however, it has been falling out in spades and grown in much lighter and I started to worry I wouldn't be able to save her dark brown newborn locks. David's motives were much less pure as he thought her hair looked like a scraggly toupee but he preyed upon my aforementioned fear until I caved and then cut it we did. I have to admit she looks a lot neater now and am happy to report it did not magically turn her into a toddler.

Help a Sister Out

2012-02-10T16:44:00.000-08:00

My talented sister, Danielle, has been working her fingers to the bone for a six week-long sewing competition that ends this Sunday. She is really close to winning so check her out and give her a vote! Make sure you check out her blog to see all her other creations too, they are beautiful.

We've Moved

2012-02-07T12:30:00.001-08:00

I sure do hate the process of moving but this was the easiest move yet. We had lots of time, a moving van, friends to help, and we didn't even have to box up every single thing since it wasn't far.

I love our new place! It's only two stories - only ONE set of stairs - and it's nice and bright inside. I don't like to get geographically specific on here but it's much closer to a lot of stuff we want to do. And we have plenty of room for visitors! Hopefully I'll get some more pictures once I get things put away. So in like 2 months.

All Dressed Up

2012-01-25T22:00:00.000-08:00

Models can be so temperamental.

A little soothing...

...and we're back.

We usually roll around the house in comfy clothes and for Nellie that means a high rotation of brightly colored sleepers and all our pictures look like they are taken of the same 4 days. So when we get really dressed up we have to throw down a sheet and have a photo shoot about it while I can still take advantage of her immobility. David thinks I should choose just two of these pictures since they are all very similar but I'm seized by babygirlsparklydress fever and the only cure is more pictures. Can you blame me?

Six Months

2012-01-25T20:56:00.000-08:00

[our first draft growth chart so far. 1 week, 1 m, 2 m, 3 m, 4 m, 5 m, 6 m]

Penelope turned six months yesterday. She can tripod sit by herself, push her chest all the way off the floor, wants nothing to do with rolling over and is trying really hard to crawl. It looks like the seal slide combined with swimming on land. And when that doesn't work she just lunges forward. She actually does move herself a little bit this way.

She likes to grab at anything in her reach and then immediately launch it away. She has a little stranger anxiety and a lot of separation anxiety from me, so she's been a koala bear on my hip a lot. She can almost always be cheered up with a song.

She began eating solid food this week and is loving it. It took her a few times to get used to the different texture and mechanics involved but now she's an eating machine. She opens her mouth, leans forward then grabs the spoon and forces it in faster. That picture above is from the first bite she had. Now when we get done feeding her it looks like an avocado bomb went off all over her. So far she's had avocado and homemade applesauce. I can't wait to see what else I can put into the food mill - it's incredibly gratifying preparing food your baby likes. In fact, it's gratifying do anything that makes your baby happy. And that's how you find yourself bounding around the kitchen making monkey noises for an audience of one. Or at least that's how I find myself, fairly often.

Christmastime

2012-01-22T19:13:00.000-08:00

At the start of driving day two, she knows what she's in for.

I am actually half on the seat trying to do this, Nellie was very patient.

Christmas Eve

The stocking I made Nellie

Danielle's cozy house

On our way to church

Finally home, happy to be out of her car seat

Our New Year's kiss at 6 pm

We decided to road trip to my sister's house in Utah for Christmas. This was the first time Nellie had spent a night away from home and I was nervous about taking an almost 5 month old on a (cumulative) 30 hour road trip. I had been mentally packing and preparing for weeks and as it turned out, Nellie was a champ. I spent a lot of time in the back seat and we stopped a lot and took our time.

Highlights:

- Stopping in Boise to party with the entire Naylor clan and crash at their house. Babies and pregnant twins galore, so much fun.

- Staying with Danielle and Trav, having sister time, playing with Ollie and hearing Avery's Christmas Eve Dinner prayer during which she blessed Uncle Steve, who doesn't exist.

- Having proper two day long Christmas party with the family.

- Visiting many, many dear friends.

Low and/or high/lowlights:

- Me, Nellie and David getting taken (in that order) out by the stomach flu beginning on Christmas Eve.

- Nellie's nap schedule being so off one day that it ended with her collapsing in exhaustion in the J.Crew outlet in Whitney Baker's magic arms, whom Nellie had only just met. I'm not negligent guys, I swear, but it was pretty cute.

- Freezing in the freezing cold basement of the Wyoming cabin for a night, and then driving to Boise the next day with David sick as a dog and a baby who wasn't having it anymore. Upside, baby got to meet a lot of her Wilkes family.

- And lastly, a belt breaking in our car on the 106 South exit in Sandy. Lucky said there was line of cars backed up 3 miles on the freeway. We were stuck there for over an hour (we couldn't move the car out of "park"). I was so touched with how many people came up to try and push us. What impressed me more was that they weren't your typical Utahns. They were a more tattooed and rough around-the-edges bunch for the most part. Some who looked as though they knew something about being down on their luck as we found ourselves at the moment. Every single one of them was so kind and wished us Merry Christmas.

I felt like a sitting duck with cars going past us and Nellie was tired and hungry but I didn't want to take her out of her car seat. A nice couple stopped and said they saw our baby and out-of-state plates and was there anything they could do. I asked if they could drop me and the baby off somewhere while David waited for the tow-truck. They took us to a hotel and asked if I had food for Nellie. When I told them I nurse her they asked if I had any money to get myself some food. I had actually left my wallet in the car but told them I didn't need any money and thanked them again. They both got out of the car to give me a hug and put money in my hand and insisted I take it to buy a drink so I could stay hydrated enough to feed Nellie. It made me tear up up.

It was a Merry Christmas indeed.

Five Months

2012-01-01T19:32:00.000-08:00

[I took these this morning, little girl is 5 months and 1 week. Who is joking me? Time is flying by so fast that Penelope will be 18 next year. I haven't even looked through Christmas pictures, or Thanksgiving for that matter. They are all forthcoming and will likely be via iPhone. I just blinked and it's 2012.]

Five months is such an easy stage! She isn't mobile yet and will basically stay where I put her, but she is really fun and interactive. Still exclusively breastfeeding, so no need to worry about what she eats; dinner is always warm and ready.

Penelope's kitten voice is taking on new permutations. She yells a lot - not in displeased way but in a "CAN YOU HEAR ME WHEN I'M TALKING LIKE THIS?" way. Or sometimes it sounds like she is singing a song off-key. People stare and then smile at us in the grocery store. She will also gurgle at full volume which sounds a lot like a kitten purr/homing pigeon through the baby monitor.

She reaches for me with both hands when I go to get her out of her crib. Makes my day every time. She has such a sunny disposition.

She sleeps in a crib now, completely flat! We learned that she can sleep flat on her back when we had to crash in the basement of the Wyoming cabin in 45 degree room with concrete floors and there was no way in the world I was letting her sleep in her swing. She slept sandwiched between David and I and every article of clothing she owns. She stayed remarkably warm and reflux free through the night. Here's to maturing digestive systems! Time to pack up the snuggabunny, she was so good to us.

Speaking of sleep, she falls asleep like a champ now. She gets tired at 6 pm on the dot, even if she woke from her nap at 5:30. She pops her fingers in her mouth, we have her nighttime routine, and she sleeps until about 7, waking twice to nurse (on a good night). Such a far cry from her newborn days of rocking, bouncing, bum pats and breathing in her face in simultaneity just to have her wake up 20 minutes later and start over. Cursed reflux.

Nellie used to be this efficient, super-nurser that would hunker down and drink all her milk in no time. I would smile at her and sing her songs and it was pure bliss. Now nursing is a wrestling match. She bats at my hair, grabs my glasses, and wiggles her finger into my nose. If she hears David speaking, a dog barking, or sees a light switching on she will, in one fluid motion, clamp down on me with her gums, throw her head back and gator-roll her body away from me in the direction of the stimulus. I shed a tear one time and my right side was out of commission the rest of the day. She doesn't even have teeth yet. I wish I could tell her "no" in an authoritative tone but it comes out like a nervous plea and then she smiles at me and I smile back at her reinforcing the whole thing. Needless to say, there's not a lot of milk going down the hatch in the light of day so she's been waking out of hunger more at night. Though I am quite tired at this point I love nursing her in her half-asleep state.

She will roll from her tummy to back but only from an incline (which might just be the work of gravity). She seems to have no interest in rolling and tons of interest in sitting up. I stopped preventing her from tipping over while she sits in the middle of our bed so she can learn how to catch herself. Sometimes instead of catching herself she will quickly bring her arms to her sides, and stiffly lift her head and feet resembling a seal coming out of the water. It's one of the most entertaining parts of my day.

She is a petite little girl. It's the first thing people usually comment on when they hold her. She has narrow shoulders and long legs, toes and fingers. She's just now hit 15 lbs but as you can see above, is filling out nicely. Her mop of dark hair is rubbing off in the back and giving way to a much lighter - perhaps even blonde - undergrowth. David asked when we are going to trim the toupee-like nest on her crown, to which I replied, "never."

I know this may sound like a premature designation, but Nellie has a great sense of humor. She laughs and smiles a lot. Laugh at her and she'll laugh, fake laugh and she'll laugh, even hiccup and she'll laugh. She smells so milky and delicious that I will sometimes bring my nose to her mouth just to smell her, at which point she lurches forward to gum my nose. I laugh and then she laughs and it's our own piece of nirvana.

Her current interests include being nibbled and tickled, slapping her hands on the water of the bath, biting on her toes and my necklaces and lying in the wondrous world of her play gym. I am so in love with this child.

four months

2011-11-28T10:55:00.001-08:00

penelope is four months now and i have to say i think we got the easiest baby in the world. she has such a mild temperament. her pediatrician wanted to check her facial symmetry by looking at her while crying but nellie wouldn't do it. even after she stuck the otoscope in her ears and tongue depressor in her mouth. nellie just looked at her warily. it takes a lot to get her to full-on cry (like three shots in the leg) so when it happens i feel horrible. i thought the immunizations would get easier as she got older but it turns out the opposite is true - each time is worse than the last. if only she was a toddler and i could shove treats in her mouth to absolve my guilt... or would that make me more guilty? i can't win.

she's in the 55th percentile for weight and 84th for height. which doesn't surprise me as she grows out of everything in length way before width. what does surprise me is that i birthed a tall, brunette baby with a little head because i am the opposite of those things. i know what you're going to say, "your husband is one-quarter chinese, what did you expect?" and while this is true, my blue-eyed husband was blonde as a baby and i didn't think baby could beat our double recessives. apparently genetics isn't as simple as my 9th grade science unit on punnett squares led me to believe.

one trait she shares with her mommy is that she's always got her fingers in her mouth. her doctor tells me sucking on her fingers is the mark of a great self-soother. she also pops up like a cobra when laid on her belly and she's this close to rolling over. on the rare occasion that she's laid in her back she heaves her arms and legs up and makes an audible "eh eh" sound trying so very hard to sit up. the bumbo is her best friend.

she loves it when we sing to her and read her stories. i've never seen a baby so glued to the pages as she is. almost every night when reading "goodnight moon" she get's so excited that her eyes get big and her arms shake ever so slightly that i ask david if he thinks she's having a seizure (he never does). i think it's safe to say she'll be a reader like me. which is only fair since she is a basically a carbon copy of her father from the outside.

the difference of three months

2011-11-27T16:28:00.000-08:00

yes, three months was actually one month ago. which is when i meant to post this and yet here we are. nellie's grandma karen took these pictures when she was just days old on the quilt she made. so at her three month mark we tried to recreate them. in three months this girl gained 3 inches, 5 pounds and lost her breast milk jaundice.

You Never Know

2011-11-22T20:00:00.001-08:00

Scene: Home Depot, Thursday evening.

Ben and Skylar are helping us find paint.

Skylar: Yeah, this is the lowest VOC paint we carry and we can match any color you want. Go grab a swatch from the wall and Ben will meet you at the desk.

We go look at the colors.

After finding the color we want, we bring the card back to the desk so they can match it.

Ben: And which paint did you want in this color?

Vanessa: The young girl said the Behr was the lowest VOC paint, is that right? We'll have that one.

David: Skylar is a boy.

Vanessa: She is?

i cut my hair, let's talk about it

2011-11-16T13:50:00.001-08:00

this is a terribly grainy picture but you get the idea. do you ever get stuck in a hair rut, getting the same haircut over and over? mine has been like that for a very long time. thanks to pregnancy hormones and general neglect it had grown almost to my elbows in a layered but shapeless mess. i wanted to wait until my face deflated to cut it short, though. pregnancy is not the time to make rash hair decisions.

it was meant to be a shoulder length bob but it got hacked much shorter. at first i thought i looked like a rebellious adolescent boy but now i'm getting used to it. it's been so long since i had short hair that i forgot that it's way more work. not the smartest move for a woman with a 3 1/2 month old, however it is harder for nellie to get her death grip on it now.

speaking of nellie she doesn't even look like my child in this picture. she's such a mini david! i was just the incubator...

movin on up

2011-11-15T11:33:00.001-08:00

i can't tell you the last time i actually purchased a new phone - it's been so long i can't remember. for the last few years when i would lose or drop a phone in the toilet i was content using hand-me-down phones from friends and family. then david and i got married and in our minimalist sweep, got rid of our phones altogether and made phone calls through the computer on a google number. we basically had a home phone number and it was like the 90s again. but brad and karen wanted to be able to get a hold of us so we kindly got pay-as-you-go phones in our stocking for christmas. thanks to always sunny in philadelphia i learned that these are called "burner phones" by drug dealers who use them because they are difficult to track. (side note, my conscience won't let me watch that show anymore.) of course i always forgot to put minutes on mine and to this day have no idea which purse it's been stashed in for the last 6 months.

our stalwart commitment to minimalism in the cellphone arena started to crack this year. it was largely fueled by my pregnancy but needing to find gluten-free restaurants and getting lost in portland was also on the list. we called jon and mal more than once when we were lost and reasoned that we didn't need to own smart phones but rather just have friends with smart phones.

but after our baby came we decided to bite the bullet. when david brought home my iphone i was so excited to use it. then i turned it on, stared at it and had no idea what to do with it. let's just say it's a far cry from my burn phone days. i could tell you all the cool things about it but, if you are over 12 and live in the free world you probably already own one. my favorite thing is that the camera is great and i can post pictures without having to dig my camera cord out of a pile of junk on my nightstand. my least favorite thing is that i have lost my husband to his iphone gaming addiction. he even installed his games on my phone so that he can play them when his phone is downstairs. on that note, any apps i need to have?

two years

2011-11-08T13:29:00.000-08:00

this year we wanted to go on a big trip but couldn't figure out how to bring the snuggabunny (nellie's giant swing/bed) with us on a plane and she will not sleep without it. once we solve that riddle we're outta here! so instead we had a leisurely day of clothes shopping - i am in dire need - and david made us a fancy dinner involving a stuffed pork roast that was brined for 10 hours.

the pictures of dinner are on the fancy camera and retrieving them would really throw a wrench in the christmas crafting tizzy i am working myself into at the moment. i get so many ideas and then overwhelm myself to the point that i can't finish any of it. i got david a cookbook and he got me slippers for our anniversary. that should tell you something about our lives right now. mazel tov!

3 months

2011-11-05T10:56:00.000-07:00

we didn't think we were going to get to keep penelope when i was 6 weeks pregnant. in fact, according to our doctor in california, we had a 90% chance of losing her. we were told to wait 11 days for another ultrasound just to be sure, and then start talking about a d & c. we were crushed to say the least and those 11 days felt like an eternity. i was not optimistic as the news came on the heels of a miscarriage six months prior.

we returned for the next ultrasound and david and i held our breath as the image filled the screen. i spotted a tiny flicker and knew right away what it was - a heartbeat. and with it my own heart jumped out of my chest. by the time the technician confirmed it i just smiled and nodded through my tears.

her heartbeat and measurements were spot-on for our dates and since then, she has grown perfectly. i was, however, fraught with worry the entire pregnancy. the uncertainty of her beginnings coupled with my two medical conditions that, if not monitored and treated properly, could threaten another miscarriage. to say i was strung tight would be putting it mildly. i have never prayed so much in all my life. but with each passing week i relaxed a little more. i remember turning to david and exclaiming, "we've made it 20 weeks! i think it's really going to happen."

and then it did happen. she finally came and she was perfect, as if there was never a reason to worry. everything seemed too good to be true. since then i've want to stop time because i can't imagine life being any better that it is now. i've been digging in my heels at every turn whispering "wait, wait, wait, stop growing so fast!" it's not that i want her to stay a newborn forever, but another year seems like a reasonable compromise. i just can't soak her in enough.

i cried a little just before she hit her 3 month mark, when it hit me suddenly that my baby is no longer a newborn and that phase of her life is over. i've waited so long for this and i'm not ready for it to be done. i didn't make her a mobile yet! i didn't get enough video of the whimper she makes when she's hungry! i didn't get enough pictures of me holding her when i didn't have a messy bun and sweatpants on! but i did spend 3 months holding her round the clock and i am happy i'll never regret that.

and i suppose it's not all about me, and i suppose penelope would like very much to grow up and experience life outside of just cuddles, nursing and sleepers. i am understanding now that motherhood will be a series of beginnings and endings, all a little bittersweet. so i'm trying to toughen up, worry less, and embrace all the new fun things that are coming our way (until pre-school when i will probably lose it entirely). i quite sincerely feel like the luckiest person in the world.

as per requested

2011-10-23T17:57:00.000-07:00

great grandma & grandpa chang visit

they brought presents and got us tons of take-out.

aunt daniellie & cousin ollie visit.

danielle helped me sew a dress to fit her next year. baby clothes are much harder than i anticipated! everything is so tiny. and of course brought nellie some more cute clothes for next year.

penelope gets blessed and meets uncles clay, mark and ethan, aunt jenny, cousins grace and viv. gma tamara and jon and mal come too. getting a group picture turned out to be a difficult task.

baby got her first cold right before her blessing. poor thing couldn't sleep and it was david and my longest night as parents. in the morning we were all bleary eyed and exhausted (which explains my hair). i was so worried she would cry through her blessing and i wouldn't be able to write it down. but true to her sweet nature she smiled at david through the whole thing. she wore the booties i wore when i was blessed 28 years ago. it was such a special day. we were so grateful for everyone that made the trip!

james, wynn and acadia come stay.

wynn crocheted that pretty hat - nellie will be wearing it all winter. david made a gluten, dairy, and meat free dinner. it was amazing. we put our three babies to bed in all the other rooms and stayed up past midnight chatting away, two nights in a row!

nellie goes to her first halloween party in the costume gma chang got her.

wearing my baby sweater and bonnet to go to church

penelope is 13 weeks old today. she has the sweetest disposition. her default moods are all smiles and giggles or calm and alert. she is very sensitive to light and noise. she seems to notice everything and has been that way since birth. she has a milk allergy so i can't eat dairy in addition to gluten now. i would be a nightmare houseguest.

my absence in blogging has been due to the fact that she would sleep only on our chests until recently. we found out it was because she has silent reflux - meaning she doesn't spit it out, so it burns her on the way down too. it's so hard hearing your baby in pain and not know why. i kept taking her temperature and feeling stumped until enough internet research i discovered the problem. her pediatrician agreed. we got her an inclined swing two weeks ago and it has saved us. prior to the swing i spent all my time holding her in a dark room to get her to sleep. then when she would wake up i would hurry and eat, throw some laundry in, and make any calls i needed to make before she needed to sleep again. we're definitely well bonded she and i. i am so in love with her.

hopefully i'll be able to post more than every five weeks from now on.

eleven weeks

2011-10-10T21:25:00.000-07:00

we have been so busy and i have a lot to catch up on. but until i filter through the literally thousands of pictures we've taken (sport mode is a double-edged sword), this video will have to do in the meantime.

what better sound is there than a baby laugh?

eight weeks

2011-09-18T18:12:00.000-07:00

Famous Families

2011-08-18T09:15:00.000-07:00

Mom and Dad are making us proud as celebrity parents again.

Since you're reading this blog, you already know they were in Uganda/Ethiopia for their last stint on the dark continent. This time they're headed back to the same mission, only they'll be in Rwanda for the entirety of the 18 months. They were involved with the visit Elder Holland took in the fall of 2009 when he dedicated the country for missionary work and were excited to continue those same efforts in the newly dedicated country.

three weeks

2011-08-14T17:28:00.000-07:00

my baby is three weeks old today! i want to freeze time - i can't imagine life being better than it is now. david and i feel like we're living in a dream. every time i look at penelope i get starry-eyed. i love this simple time that i don't need to worry about anything besides holding her and nursing her. and that's pretty much all i do all day long. i know that i won't be able to get these days again so i am soaking it in while i can. so i hope everyone will forgive me for late replies to emails and phone calls (or forgetting to reply altogether). this blog post alone took me three attempts.

luckily david has been picking up my slack in the cooking department (and a lot of other departments). i had no idea he was such a good cook when i married him. those are just a few things he's made me in the past few days. danielle, it turns out food is david's love language also. that last one is fish and chips - best i've ever had.

we went to a friend's farm on friday and picked a few blackberries. david developed some film in an old meat locker that the friend converted into a darkroom and baby and i enjoyed some fresh air. nellie barely left her shady car seat and slept the entire time.

updates:
- nellie gained a pound by two weeks old - and has probably gained another by now - but still only fits into newborn clothes.

- she gets the hiccups something awful, just like she did in my belly.

- i teared up when she got her 2 week blood draw. how am i going to make it through all her vaccinations...

- at one week she could turn her head from one side to another while laying on her belly. we were so proud.

- she has the meekest little kitten voice but when she nurses it's a whole different story. she opens her eyes and mouth really wide, and in her excitement, lets out this throaty hiss/growl right before she latches on. makes us die laughing every time.

- so far all i can see in her is my chin, mouth, nail beds, and long tongue. and affinity for eating. other than that she is all david. i love her.

my little family

2011-08-04T12:32:00.000-07:00

we had to take nellie to get weighed at four days old. (i was relieved she'd only lost 2 ounces! ah the simple pleasures being a new mom.) i didn't like being in a doctors office with such a new baby with all the sick children cycle in and out of there. so afterward, when david suggested we meet his parents across the street for jamba juice at a warm shady table outside, i thought it sounded much nicer: fresh air, filtered sunshine, juice - how healthy. but then the music started playing and cars started driving by (or those super loud motorcycles! they make my blood boil!) and i started getting panicked. too many noises, stimulation, pollution, oh and don't get me started on smokers... of course she slept right through it but i laugh when i look at this picture because of how i'm smiling but actually kind of anxious inside. i fully embrace my paranoid mom-ness now. but i can't be the only one, right?

also, look at the size of that tiny girl in her car seat. it feels so odd putting such a small baby into that contraption. i was expecting a chubby baby but what i got was a tiny, long one who doesn't fit into any of the 0-3 months clothes we got her. we had to go get her a few newborn things. is it wrong that i want her to stay a newborn forever? i really do. sorry baby, you can't ever go to college or get married.

baby

2011-07-29T18:10:00.000-07:00

my water broke friday july 22 at 9 am but baby didn't make her way to us until sunday the 24th at 4:49 pm. perhaps i'll tell the whole story when i have a little more time; it was a very intense and incredible few days.

she weighed 7 lbs 1.9 oz and was 20 2/3 inches long. i thought i had baby fever before but i had no idea. i can't get enough of her. all i want to do is stare at her face and hold her. and david is just as in love with her.

penelope is a champion nurser, is skilled at wiggling her hand out of her swaddle blankets, she prefers sleeping on our chests and the sounds she makes sound exactly like a kitten. she also loves to video chat.

it's hard to put her down long enough to sleep so it's lucky we had a visit from brad and karen to walk her around the house in the wee hours of the morning to give david and i a turn to sleep. we're so touched by all the sweet words, well wishes and gifts sent by so many! she is a very well-loved child.

Penelope Frances

2011-07-27T13:05:00.000-07:00

david is handy

2011-07-17T17:56:00.000-07:00

a few weeks ago i showed david some shelves i liked and told him it would be fun to make them one day when we have own own house. he took one look, declared he could make them, and off to home depot we went. i love how they turned out!

and in case you're wondering, we're still pregnant over here. please excuse the sullen expression, it has nothing to do with my mood and everything to do with the weight of my cheeks pulling down the corners of my mouth. baby's due in three days but if the frantic cleaning spell that seized me today is any indication, she may come sooner...

portland baby shower

2011-07-10T19:08:00.000-07:00

mal threw me a beautiful baby shower on saturday. complete with a delicious all gluten-free menu, including these cupcakes, quinoa salad, cucumber-mint drink and homemade horchata. like most things malorie makes, it was the best we had ever tasted. oh and she made that banner last minute with scraps she had laying around. so crafty this one...

mal, megan, marissa, tara, danielle, and lindsey are some of the funniest and most talented quilters and book clubbers in all of portland, and i'm so glad to call them friends. we talked pregnancy, swapped birth stories, and i - i mean my baby - got spoiled with ridiculously darling gifts. i can't wait to use them all! shoes, books, lotions and washes, bibs and fancy feeding spoons and outfits galore. she is going to be one fashionable little girl after this.

i just realized i am not the best action photographer as made evident by the lack of photos and this attempt to get some of the ladies before they left. though i did get a great shot of megan's impressive french braid. thankfully mal got some good ones.

and just take a look at this sweater. mal commissioned her mama to make this for me as a surprise. i am in love - just look at its purple shawl collared perfection. she could make some serious money on etsy with these.

speaking of mamas here's a better shot of another dress karen made me. they're all i have to wear now from here on out! baby's due in 10 days, not that i'm counting...

Best First Father's Day So Far...

2011-07-07T20:11:00.000-07:00

Now I can be just like Tony and Gordon.

summer sun

2011-07-03T20:41:00.000-07:00

i can't think of a prettier place to welcome a baby into the world than portland in the summertime. i was at the end of my rope with the record number of consecutive days without sun but it's slowly redeeming itself. we were at a barbecue this weekend at this beautiful green park, it was 77 degrees and not a cloud in the sky. i want to stay outside all day on days like these, it's like the garden of eden.

the realization just struck me today that we will get to be with our child for all her firsts. and i don't mean first smile or laugh but first breath of air, first sun on her skin, first shot from the doctor (i'm already dreading that one). all the firsts of just existing in her body.

i say this all the time to david, but i just can't wrap my head around the enormity of having a child; it seems to good to be true. she's going to call me mom one day. you'd think 8.5 month of being pregnant would have dulled the novelty of it somewhat but it hasn't, i think about it everyday and it blows my mind. i wonder if every first-time mother has the same thoughts.

37 weeks

2011-06-29T23:30:00.000-07:00

we're full term!

baby dropped a few days before i hit 36 weeks. no one can tell by looking at me but when i told the midwife she felt around and exclaimed, "woah, she's really low - can you feel that? that's her head!" indeed i do feel it, all day long, and that's why my waddle is in full effect.

lately i've been working hard on her baby quilt and trying to get last minute things ready. i've been trying to anticipate everything we'll need for the first few months and have it ready. i have to remind myself that a baby can still be born even if she doesn't have the exactly right combination of short and long sleeve onesies handy. and that target is a 5 minute drive away.

when my insomnia allows i've also been doing a lot of laying on my bed and sleeping. my energy comes in bursts and i get a lot done but when it's gone it's gone. and if i drop something on the ground i stare it for a moment to decide if it's worth picking up. usually it's not.

we feel our girl moving all the time. there's less fluid in my belly now so it basically feels like a bag full of baby. and i mean full. remember when i thought my belly was big? i had no idea! but oh man, i am so in love with her. and being in love while your pregnant is extra intense. i tear up just thinking about her. (and maybe also when i see stranger's emotional goodbyes at the airport?! i know, i know.)

we can't wait to see this baby. i wish i knew how long she's planning on staying in there.

summer solstice

2011-06-22T11:49:00.000-07:00

mal said that portland is one of the few places that only begins to feel like summer at the actual start of summer, and i think she's right. thankfully for us the first day of summer was gorgeous and warm (83 degrees!) and we all went to a splash park downtown and ate burgers after to celebrate.

and david fell asleep as usual. you can see jon and mal behind that bald guy's head.

and this is what my lap looks like these days.

i got a few kicks on film (it's easier to see if it's maximized), but i wish i had the camera on her when she really gets going - it feels like a bellyful of squirrels and looks like the loch ness monster dragging her limbs all over. i love this baby so much i can't stand it.

all the way from maine

2011-06-22T10:05:00.001-07:00

david had been talking about boiling live lobster ever since we saw it done on no reservations. i figured i'd better make it happen for father's day since david has already been such a good father by taking care of his baby mama.

jon and mal met us saturday at the asian fish market and then we went back to their house to cook them up (see better pictures here). it was the most exciting meal we've ever made. i thought i'd feel bad about putting a live crustacean in a pot of boiling water but i didn't. not even a little bit. show's you how callous i've become.

we all instinctively knew to wear blue for father's day.

the first ceremonious lid on the lobster.

i look really calm but i probably just got done asking if it was going to pinch me for the third time in a high pitched voice.

lobster bibs were mal's idea and they saved my belly from a lot of butter drippings.

you just kind of twist it apart with your hands and don't think about the fact that it was alive 20 minutes ago...

i also made cheesecake and after four people ate it twice, it's only half gone. maybe i should freeze it for next father's day...

santa cruz

2011-06-01T14:45:00.000-07:00

last year was my first trip to santa cruz and i loved it, however, i was a little dubious about camping while seven months pregnant this year. to sleep i have to use three pillows: one for my head, one between my knees, and one to hug to keep my lungs from collapsing on themselves. or at least it feels that way. brad and karen provided us with an air mattress, without which, i wouldn't have lasted more than one night. add in some nighttime bathroom (or rather pee on a bush) breaks and it averaged out to be a great time!

david is the bravest fire keeper in the family

someone missing a beach ball? david found it.

little ollie followed david around the whole time. i wish i got a picture of his face, he's a doll.

and here's doll #2, vivie in the dress we brought grace from mexico. don't you want to bite her marshmallow arms?

clay showing off the beginnings of the worst sunburn i've ever seen.

me showing off my fastidious application of spf 30.

so, i wore this shirt about nine days earlier and it completely covered my belly. here you can see i am trying to keep it from showing my belly hanging out the bottom. it's probably a good time to give up the horizontal stripes anyhow.

as i mentioned earlier, i have but one dress that still fits so karen told me to pick out some patterns, took me to get fabric, and she whipped this up for me. i love it! i still have one she's going to mail me (a pattern i chose that she also happened to make in high school!) karen just got back from a month in hawaii, can you tell?

updates:

today i am 33 weeks.

baby is definitely growing, her fluttery kicks have been replaced with movements that shake my whole belly. i was holding grace on my lap and she informed me "your baby is kicking me" odds are if you give me a hug you will feel her too.

my belly feels like it's doubling in size, and i just got my first "you're big" comment:

"you must be due any day now!"

"nope, i still have two months."

"wow, does the doctor say it's a big baby?"

"nope, we're both measuring normally."

"well, you're really carrying it all out in front."

"thank you?" i'll be honest i don't like the implication that i'm abnormal. yes, my belly is big. it would be smaller, but you see there's a person inside it.

in all honesty though, i LOVE my belly because my little baby is in there. i have never loved my reflection more. yes, i'm getting bigger and softer and my face is swelling, but what a miraculous event this is.

the overwhelming urge to hold her in my arms is getting so strong. i can't believe that we really are having a baby. that she is ours and she will always exist after this. it's so hard to wrap my head around. i feel insanely lucky.

california baby shower

2011-06-01T12:46:00.000-07:00

debbie and brooke threw me a beautiful baby shower in granite bay last week. you may remember that debbie also threw me a bridal shower less than two years ago. i was so excited when she offered to throw me another shower, these are party planning people!

this time debbie had the help of brooke who was in her last week of high school and still managed to decorate the entire thing! debbie's NYC daughter kimber took a ferry to the brooklyn ikea to get the special milk bottles you see here, hauled 10 back in a taxi, and then sent them to debbie. the holts are not what you would call under-achievers! i could not believe all the detail that went into everything. it felt like walking into a baby girl tea party wonderland! so many women helped out and i was really touched by all of it. enjoy the pictures (all stolen from karen and debbie.)

brooke made this little tower, it's got tiny diapers all rolled up and all kinds of baby goodies on it. i think she should start selling them.

so many women brought food, i don't even know who brought what but it was almost too pretty too touch. jenny and karen m. even made me gluten free cookies!

brooke sewed this banner! (i wish my dress didn't clash, but it was literally the only dress that fit me. yes my belly got a lot bigger, we'll talk about that later.)

sara must have read my mind because i had been searching etsy for booties just like this. i was so touched by all the handmade gifts.

she just had a baby and you can't even tell.

karen motley and the pretty diagonal stripe blanket she made.

pam peterson went to 3 stores looking for the perfect outfit! so so sweet.

grandma karen's quilt will be so fun for baby to look at.

and dear jenny who created all the invitations, last minute even!

such a beautiful party!

mother's day

2011-05-31T10:29:00.000-07:00

i've really been slacking in the blogging department it seems. in an effort to stay chronological, i'll start with mother's day. it turned into mother's week at our house. having to prepare food for yourself every two hours (for months) can make cooking something of a chore... david noticed my attitude for eating losing it's luster and volunteered to make dinner 3 nights that week.

when i cook i try sticking to what is healthy and within a budget. when david cooks he feels neither of these constraints and makes indulgent meals like bbq ribs and potato salad, chicken cordon bleu, creamy shrimp pasta with strawberry salad and homemade dressing. what is better than someone making gourmet food for you? ok, there are a lot of things, but it's pretty high on my list.

for the mother's day finale david gave me waffles with fruit for breakfast, some gorgeous lilies and the best set of coupons ever, for things like new pairs of shoes and cooking and cleaning all week! and for dinner - skirt steak with pesto sauce, scalloped potatoes, and sauteed green beans with onions and tomatoes. for dessert, gluten free chocolate chip cookies. it was heavenly. thanks to david i discovered my love of eating again. oh, i also got a strawberry plant at church that seems to be thriving. i expect a harvest of at least 3 tiny fruits come mid june.

david used anthony bourdain's trick of checking the meat's doneness (what do you know, apparently that is a word) by feeling for a likeness of part of your fist and thus, you need not cut into the meat. he'd be happy to show you.

we tried a few times but as tyra would say, "here's your best shot."

david can't take a bad picture though, even when his mouth is full.

my lilies in full bloom. i wanted to bathe in these flowers! there cannot be a more intoxicating smelling flower. don't delay throwing them away when they die like i did though because they begin smelling a little like decaying fruit.

If You're Reading This...

2011-05-21T08:03:00.000-07:00

... then I'm sorry you couldn't come along with the rest of us.

Thanks for the cool word Shakespeare!

If nothing noteworthy has happened, then I will add this day to the list of disappointments, along with the following: 1914, 1915, 1918, 1920, 1992, 1993, 1998, etc.

Now, I will set this to publish for me because who knows if I'll still be around in a few hours.

Update: (We're still here)

recent events

2011-05-07T17:42:00.000-07:00

a trip to a park in lake oswego with jon, mal and theo a few weeks ago it was sunny and warm all day long. it was barely over 70 degrees but there were girls tanning in bikinis on the grass. that's what a portland winter does to people.

the halls like to pattern coordinate

then easter came, another holiday we celebrated at jon and mal's without any photo documentation. we have been calling our girl "baby bunny" for a long time now, so naturally we had to buy this book for her. i've read it to her a few times, i'm pretty sure she's a fan.

this is what was left of the easter presents from our moms after we gobbled all the chocolate out of them. i am happy that i now have my first easter decorations and a basket for baby's easter next year.

horizontally striped non-maternity shirt at 6.5 months pregnant? why not. david said i was blending into the wall in this picture so i made it black and white. i'm not sure if it helped at all.

updates:

baby will kick to "twinkle, twinkle little star."

when i cross my arms over my chest she'll kick them. and when i have an intense or scary dream i'll wake up from her kicking like a racehorse inside me. anyone else have crazy pregnancy dreams? i've almost died 3 times in mine.

the end of my sternum (xiphoid process) is now being pushed upward from the force of my belly. david discovered it and asked if it was the baby. how i wish it was... baby still has to gain about 5 lbs before she's born. i hope my sternum is still attached at that point, it's getting pretty full in here.

i am surprised at how much she already feels like part of our family. when we lay in bed at night david will put his hand on my belly and give her a squeeze when she kicks. it's a little game they play until david dozes off this way. it's hard to imagine being more happy than this.

a little sick around here

2011-04-28T14:12:00.000-07:00

i hit my 28 week mark yesterday. a big milestone for me and i'd been looking forward to documenting with a picture and some pictures of easter. however i came down with a sickness a few days ago that's rendered me unable to do much of anything. like get dressed. or eat more than rice bread. it reminds me of my first trimester all over again. i keep looking at the clock counting down the hours until the day is over.

i can't believe my luck in not getting a cold (or flu? not sure) until now. i attribute it mostly to being a total hermit for most of my pregnancy. it sure makes a person miss nyquil when all you can take are vitamin c gummies and a little benadryl at bedtime. i'm too paranoid about birth defects to take anything else. so here i wallow in my self pity... indulge me, won't you?

i think my barking seal cough is freaking out baby a little. it always wakes her up and makes her kick and i wonder if she is having a panic attack in there. coughing is a whole different story when you have a baby pot roast stuffed in your ribs. my ribs and stomach muscles feel stretched and bruised. my abdomen is already literally busting at the seams. i try and brace it all with my hands when i cough for fear i'll be birthing this baby out of my belly button. if i happen to be standing up when a cough comes on i have to drop what i'm doing and get in the fetal position or else the coughing pulls my ligaments. it feels like someone reached inside you and snapped you like a rubber band, kind of like rolling an ankle. over and over again.

on the upside i had my gestational diabetes test yesterday and passed. and even more impressive, was able to keep the syrup down for an hour for them to draw my blood. for those of you who aren't familiar the test consists of drinking the equivalent of an entire water bottle full of concentrated, melted otter pops in under 5 minutes, choking down your dry heaves for an hour, and then getting your blood tested. i totally threw it up in the parking lot of the hospital afterward and came to the realization that vomiting in public is now well within my comfort zone. every person i saw yesterday got the heck out of my path. i look like the crypt keeper. my face is swollen and the normal dark circles under my eyes now look like full blown shiners.

some upsides: baby is doing great and my temperature is hovering just below the point at which i would have to go to the hospital for a stay. thanks to david, i don't need to be employed and can be at home in my comfy bed. other upsides, i feel pretty lucky to be sitting here with a healthy baby in my belly, a caring husband, good medical care and a warm bath whenever i want it. also there is hulu.

from the mouths of strangers

2011-04-14T11:04:00.000-07:00

yesterday at the grocery store a woman walks by david and i and says, "that's a boy," nodding her head emphatically. it takes me a moment to realize the "that" she's referring to is my baby in utero. david is great at going along with things like this, and sometimes he just likes to egg them on, "oh really, you think so?" and then the woman goes off about how she knows for certain it's a boy because she can't tell i'm pregnant from behind. she goes on further cite the hormonal chemistry at work, something about my hips and if i were pregnant with a girl i would have more estrogen, it's science she says, she's certain. oh really, lady?

so i kindly interject that i'm actually having a girl, a declaration that i presume will humble her a little. nope. her next comment is, "well it could have been tucked, you never know with those ultrasounds." [insert record screeching] ok lady, speculate all you like on my estrogen levels, but i will knock you out for saying my baby girl has a penis. at this point in the conversation my eyes bored into her coldly and david wrapped it up with some cheery, "well, i guess we'll see!" i know she was probably well-meaning but unless you have a PhD in maternal-body-hormone-structuring you best not be wandering around telling women who are 3 months from delivering that their baby girls are actually hiding boy parts.

that was the first time a stranger has commented on my pregnancy, but this kind of thing happened all the time before i was pregnant. too. people feel compelled to give me advice and admonishments for some reason.

about a year ago i was in another grocery store in granite bay wearing some baggy t-shirt of david's, running shorts and shoes, no make-up, but definitely wearing my wedding ring. i go to get rung up and the checker is a man in his 50s. he's really nice and makes light chit chat with me and then just as he gives me my receipt says, "you be a good girl tonight. it's friday: date night." say whhhat? i'm going to go out on a limb and say that he missed my wedding ring and presumed like most people do that i'm in high school. but still, what do you say to that? "we'll see!" or "too late!" ha. am i the only one this happens to? if not, please share.

the mothership

2011-04-04T13:16:00.000-07:00

i love other people's belly photos, so i am happy to share mine. this is just over 24 weeks. i look pretty normal from straight on.

but when i turn to the side you realize that i am a threat to knocking over a 5 year-old. even the nay-sayers must admit that my belly is huge now. i need to buy more maternity shirts.

want to hear a little story? on the drive back from california we stop at a gas station so i can go pee. just before i leave the bathroom i feel a pain shoot up and through the axis of my belly button, all the way over my belly. it feels like my stomach is tearing from the inside and i start to panic.

once the pain subsided i shuffle out, bent over as that is the only way i can walk. the nice indian man working there asks if i am ok. i have no idea what's going on but i don't want him to call an ambulance so i mumble something like, "um, yeah... ok... just need to sit down... my husband... um, he's outside... so..." and then i keep hobbling out the door.

david sees my distress and helps me to the car. when i sit down the pain goes away pretty quickly, so i try not to worry too much about it. the next day as i push myself into a sitting position and flex my stomach muscles, i look down to see a bulge down the middle of my belly that did not exist before and i immediately know what happened: my muscles had separated. i expected this to happen while pregnant, i just thought it would happen gradually. not all at once in a dirty gas station in central california... after that incident everyone commented on how my belly had grown in the last week.

more updates:

- baby responds to our voices. somehow she seems to know when i am talking to her instead of someone else and it is the best thing in the world.

- she kicks me in the bladder a lot and it stops me in my tracks and sometimes i leak a little. it's only a tiny bit but peeing your pants is peeing your pants.

- she is 13.5 inches and weighs 1.5 lbs and looks like this.

- my hips are now so wide that i have to sleep with a pillow between my knees to keep them from bruising each other during the night. turning over with a giant belly and a pillow between your knees is exactly as awkward as it sounds.

- i've started doing workout videos with dr. cathy on youtube. doctor of what i'm not sure, but her pregnant arms looks better than my non-pregnant arms ever have. maybe it's because she uses hand weights instead of tomato sauce cans...

well, i'd love to stay and chat but i'm off to get blood drawn (twice) and swallow a bunch of glucose syrup!

shining like a new dime

2011-04-01T13:36:00.000-07:00

for the past few days i'd been humming "portland, i love you but you're bringing me down." it's been so very rainy - even for an oregon girl - and i needed a little relief.

then lo and behold yesterday was lovely! we had a break in the clouds, i rolled the windows down on the way to the grocery store whereupon i picked up these ranunculus. they've been sitting like this on the table between their prospective pots since then. (however, i don't know if i can bring myself to pound a drainage hole through the bottom of the ball jar david bought me, anyone know if it would splinter?) such simple thing to brighten my day.

i had been aching to swim, perhaps to trick my body into thinking it is summer and i am also weightless, so david and i went to the gym. i pretty much floated around on my back using my belly as a buoy as david swam laps around me. it was heavenly.

when we got home the sun was still pouring in the windows and birds were chirping outside. as i stood there in the kitchen with wet hair, listening to tom waits, making sandwiches and smelling like chlorine, feeling my girl squirm in my belly and watching david pace absentmindedly on the phone with his uncle (chomping jelly bellies all the while), i felt one hundred percent happy. i'm so grateful for those completely blissful days. and while they are definitely alternated with bouts of reasonless hormone breakdowns every now and then, blissful days are the norm lately.

belly and baby updates soon, ok?

david's birthday week

2011-03-29T12:36:00.000-07:00

we made the long trip to ladera ranch in california, which is just over 1,000 miles. being large and of a squished bladder, i was glad that we broke up the drive into smaller increments staying at my mom's and then david's parents both ways. we loved having moms cook food for us.

david turned 28 yesterday! and we celebrated his birthday the whole week. there isn't a birthday i love more than david's. gives me feel warm fuzzies seeing him get showered with love and attention from everyone. i lost track of how many times he blew out candles, but it was many.

round one: gf lava cakes courtesy of karen. she also made us an entirely st. patrick's day themed dinner and i actually liked cooked cabbage.

which one of us is the same color as their shirt? and can you spot my cold sore? that's from not getting my now requisite 10 hours of sleep a night. less than 8 and i probably shouldn't drive a car.

we made it to ryan and erica's lovely home and got to spend some time with this little chirping bird. she is one of the most endearing kids i know. david and cam just watching some little mermaid in the morning.

z pizza in mission viejo (or aliso viejo? i never knew what city i was in) they have gf pizza!

how cute are those twig arms!

we realized we didn't take a lot of pictures because we lost track of time always talking. ryan and erica make you feel so at home; they only people we stay up super late with laughing until we are delirious. erica made us delicious thai food and whoopie pies for d's birthday, ryan took us all around ladera ranch, and we got in some shopping for maternity clothes. had a ball with these guys.

erica is also pregnant, 5 weeks behind me. i wish i would have gotten a back to back picture because she looks like she had a big lunch and i look like i had a bowling ball for lunch.

i made a cake for david's actual birthday yesterday, the first german chocolate cake i've ever attempted but we have yet to eat it because we were so full from dinner last night. also we finally bought a table. baby steps.

he is probably really sick of getting his picture taken by this point.

this was the best creme brulee i've ever had. we were practically licking the ramekin. brad and karen gave us a gift card to ruth's chris for our anniversary but i was too sick to use it for months. it's already been 5 months since our anniversary, time is flying.

a little nature for your lunch break

2011-03-16T12:28:00.000-07:00

this is the park we love to go to. except it's less of a park and more of a densely wooded forrest in the middle of the city that goes on for hundreds of acres. i haven't explored the whole thing because my walking stamina seems about inversely proportional to my belly circumference. david has run through a lot of it, though, and even got lost the first time because it's so big. and while we've only seen honest looking couples and runners so far, it seems like the perfect place to kill someone so i always go with david. we walk on the little trails winding throughout and forget we aren't camping. the trees block all the outer road noise and all you hear are birds, insects, frogs and the rain. people even spot rabbits, snakes, and deer. i get pretty excited when we spot animals; so far we've seen ducks, squirrels, frogs, and a salamander.

spring is coming

we never get to see beaver (or nutria!) but we do see their marks on things.

and the best treasure, a banana slug! i loved to find these when we'd camp in the redwoods as a child. but despite my best efforts, most met their demise at my brother's salt shaker.

blowin up

2011-03-05T11:13:00.000-08:00

i am definitely looking pregnant at 20 weeks. my normal shirts are getting a tad too short in front but maternity shirts are still too big. i can't believe i'm going to get bigger than this. i feel like, ok we know she a girl, i am obviously showing, let's get this party started. but alas, i am only half way done. not that i'm wishing it away. this part of pregnancy is a dream and i am really enjoying it. i just want to see her...

she is filling up my belly pretty well. i read that at 20 weeks baby should be just level with your belly button. well, my girl was 3 inches past that at 18 weeks and she's about to hit my sternum any day now. her kicks have gotten pretty strong. we got lucky and she popped me hard a few times. i grabbed david's hand and he got to feel it. it's funny how when it happens to you, it feels like the only time in the history of the world anyone has ever been pregnant. i want to tell people, "you're not gonna believe this but there is a tiny person inside my belly! she's moving right now!" it's old news to them - but not for us. it is simultaneously the weirdest and most natural thing somehow.

here are some things that are becoming harder to do:

- breath through my nose

- put on socks while standing up

- go from reclined to sitting using my stomach muscles

- keep up with bra demands. it went from "woah" to "you've got to be kidding me" in no time.

- finish sentences without, "um, uhh, shoot what's the word...i forgot what i was saying"

- get rid of blue circles under my eyes (see above)

i can't figure out that last one. i get 9 hours of sleep a night but i can't seem to wash the tired off my face. i'm going to look like the crypt keeper when baby comes.

in other news i recently took my first ever sewing class. to give you a little background, my mother made her own clothes in the 6th grade and made our prom dresses in high school. my sister took after her and can sew like a pro. little sister on the other hand was always scared of the sewing machine and never got near one. i was content letting sewing not be my thing. but once baby was on the way my maternal crafting desires overrode my trepidation of the scary needle machine. if you are in the portland area i went to modern domestic on mal's tip, and loved it. i could have spent the whole day there. i was surprised to be the youngest person in the small class. but also the least experienced. it was supposed to be for total beginner's but there were a few cheaters there who had sewed before. of course i was the only one to bleed from a straight pin and the last to finish but i was so happy with myself when i was done!

the store i tried to go for fabric happened to be closed so i was forced to pilfer through what the odd smelling, old and dimly lit joann's had. while this isn't what i was looking for i was happy i was happy that i at least liked it. and it's a bit brighter in person. of course i found out when i got to my class that i had picked the most difficult pattern - geometric - because it's obvious if it's the least bit crooked. i spent so much time sweating and stressing through the measuring and cutting. i was seriously talking myself through it. "people sew, people do this all the time, it's not hard, 8 year-old chinese girls in sweat shops do this - you can do this!"

so after blood, sweat and thankfully no tears i finished my first sewing project on my very own sewing machine! if you spot a terrible mistake, just let me live in my ignorant bliss.

more posts to come about non-pregnancy things.

we're having a...

2011-02-18T17:15:00.000-08:00

daughter!

david and i both had butterflies on the way to the ultrasound, it kind of felt like nerves before a big date. the gender didn't matter in the least bit to me but it's so gratifying to know. i feel like we are getting to know this little person now. david would have been thrilled with a boy or a girl but having been raised with brothers, he's really excited to have a baby girl around.

the ultrasound tech and the doctor kept commenting on how much she moves around. i was happy to have some external validation of what i tell david all the time: she moves like crazy! in fact she's kicking right this second and i love it, it's a like a little hello from her. i still can't believe it's all happening so seamlessly, i'm so grateful.

we have a few names rolling around in our heads but nothing certain yet. such a big task to name a person! good think we've got 22 weeks to think it over.

valentine's

2011-02-15T12:27:00.000-08:00

you might be interested to know that i was due to be born on valentine's day but came early, a fact i lamented as a child. i was a romantic early on. when i was very young my thought process that was able to suspend mounting evidence against santa claus' existence was the same one that also made plausible the translation of disney cartoons into real life people. it was completely reasonable to me that peter pan, or perhaps a cousin of his, might fly up to my window at night to visit me. i don't know how long it lasted but for a period of time i made sure to go to bed wearing my pink nightgown and coordinating robe i'd received for christmas just in case i had a flying visitor. heaven help me if i have a girl.

i love love and all the sappy sweet things that go with it, valentine's day especially. even as a single person i enjoyed it. i loved the parties and seeing boys scrambling at the store the night of, scratching their heads in front of flower displays. i love all the pink, the flowers and cards, the chocolate and special plans. i love that love has its own celebrated day.

it was two years ago today that david told me he loved me. that's right, the day after valentine's day. we were in wyoming with friends and he reasoned that he had been wanting to tell me as we went snowshoeing in the woods. very sweet, but a storm kept us inside and so david didn't tell me until the next day, right before we got in the car to drive home. ha. i forgave him on account that the month before he told me he thought he could be falling in love with me. haha, what could i say to that? "sounds promising david, be sure to keep me posted!"

what a good valentine he turned out to be. i had a really happy day, i hope you all did too. here are some pictures.

good salmon recipe here

my favorite mug

interactive valentine's card

my presents

i've never gotten an orchid before, they are lovely! and it really brightens up a messy room.

one of these has already been eaten entirely. no weight loss this trimester!

birthday time

2011-02-10T21:04:00.000-08:00

i turned 28 yesterday and woke up to sunny weather, david with breakfast in bed, and his present of a bunch of prenatal massages from a spa: cue angels singing. i'm like a lap dog always trying to get him to rub my shoulders. he used to try and get off the hook by telling me he didn't know how, but i made him do it anyway. now he's really good at it.

a little later we went to a gluten-free bakery jon and mal showed us. they have the best sandwiches. i am the only one that ate though, as my stomach can't hold much at a time so i have to eat often. when i eat too much it just comes back up like a baby spitting up, only not nearly as cute. this is just one way i am like unto a newborn right now.

then we headed to the coast, toured the tillamook factory, ate ice cream and walked around the beaches. i love oregon beaches! they're aren't trashed and crowded, they're full of tide pools and they smell good. they are very cold, however, so we didn't stay long.

we ate dinner at a cute little restaurant which apparently houses an iron chef chef. i got excited about my halibut because it's a "pregnancy friendly" fish but then halfway through i started having doubts that maybe it was actually on the "never ever eat while pregnant or you'll birth-defect your baby" fish list and got really worried i'd just mercury poisoned my baby. between the celiac and the pregnancy i have a lot of food scares. this is why i need an iphone. david is good at being the voice of reason, though. i suppose i am the voice of overly cautiousness... anyhow, in case you are pregnant and also eating halibut at this very moment, don't worry it's green light go. and yes, my birthday completely revolved around eating.

we're portlandianers

2011-02-04T10:03:00.000-08:00

here is 16 weeks, almost four months! that is an accomplishment. month four has been muuuch kinder to me than months 1-3. thank you, month four. i am eating pasta sauce again (not with pasta of course) and even eating citrus fruits and meat (all in moderation with the help of nausea medicine of course)! there were some dark moments in the first trimester when i thought i would never enjoy food again. i started reading food network recipes and making myself even more miserable. i was so hungry! really bad news for a girl that likes to eat as much as i do. so over that hump and on to a new one - my belly!

clever segway, wasn't that? my belly is big enough that i can't lie on my stomach anymore, it's really full up until my belly button. i can feel the baby move a lot. based on frequency of movement, baby seems to really like pellegrino aranciata, packing/unpacking boxes, and nighttime. the more i talk to other moms the more i realize how unusual this is (apparently most feel the first movements between 16 and 20 weeks while i felt it at 14.) when i say i can feel it i don't mean i can feel a kick, i mean that i can feel it shifting inside me and then i can actually feel the baby from the outside with my hand right under my skin. i have a tilted uterus so i think that's the reason; it's pressed right up against my front. so now you know. is it TMI to talk about your uterus? if so, it might be an uncomfortable 5 months for you cause i'm just scratching the surface. moving on. to...moving! guys, i'm on a roll.

david packed and moved all our things, i cleaned the apartment and made him snacks. we had a long day of driving and arrived at our house only to discover the heat hadn't been turned on yet. luckily jon and mal came to our rescue and we stayed the night with them. then they came back over the next day to help us move our stuff in, and mal even lent me her maternity clothes! these people are gems. we love them.

now david is enjoying his office downstairs and i'm reveling in our washer and dryer. i have been washing everything that even looks a little bit dirty. it's such a luxury walking 2 feet to do your laundry! this is what excites me now. ah, the life of a housewife. it's really great actually. and so is portland!

high fives all around

2011-01-26T17:41:00.000-08:00

this morning i drove to the grocery store and sat in a traffic jam caused by a gas leak. no problem, keep driving.

i make a left hand turn and a man in crosswalk threatens to key my car. key in hand and everything, no he's not homeless. slightly more deflated/scared but keep driving.

finally make it to grocery store. they don't have gluten free chicken broth, i'm not surprised. go to other store.

woman nearly backs into me in parking lot. 3 times. i'm just as confused as you are. proceed to sit in traffic with the parents of the entire sutter middle school which is closed due to gas leak.

get home, make breakfast quiche and wait with hungry anticipation. burn the bottom of quiche that i also put too much spinach in, rendering it basically inedible. i just pick the ham out of it.

then i lie down on my bed, too lightheaded and dizzy (nausea meds) to keep organizing my bedroom and laugh at the ineffectual state of my life.

on the bright side:

crazy key man didn't key my car. miraculously, crazy car lady didn't hit my car. i found gluten-free broth. david loves the quiche and doesn't know why i'm apologizing for its gross-ness. thanks to nausea meds it's been a week since i threw up!

and saving the best for last, baby is moving all over the southern hemisphere of my abdomen like it's open swim at the pool! it's been happening for about a week. i can feel it best when i am laying on my back. it feels like a balloon turning or shifting and then i put my my hand to the spot and i can feel the top of a firm little ball (about the size of an apple i'm old). i talk to baby for a minute and then yell to david that the baby's moving and relay its coordinates: left, center or right side. but what i really feel like shouting is "OH MY GOSH THERE'S A BABY IN THERE I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S REALLY IN THERE IT'S MOVING I CAN FEEL IT OHHH MY GOSH!!!"

i've read horror stories about women getting ribs broken from their baby's errant kicks but so far the moving makes me light up like a birthday cake. i feel like giving out high fives.

utah

2011-01-24T18:17:00.000-08:00

we've been spending a lot of time in the car lately, jetting up to portland and utah. we've got another drive to portland in about a week. but the good news is - it will be a one way drive! we're moving there. i cannot wait. though we'll miss our friends and family here we're really looking forward to this change.

our trip to utah was so much fun. we got to stay in trav and danielle's beautifully remodeled house and watch movies and eat yummy food, ryan took us out to lunch, and we caught up with clay and lucky.

i got to see these gems i miss so much. lauren, karla, stacy, and her avery (and shawn who is taking the picture.)

got to take our avery to the "quorium". i love using the aquarium setting on my camera.

enjoying a balanced meal of goldfish crackers and mac & cheese.

got to see this little dolly for the first time! he doesn't even mind the pink blankets.

he is a dream child. he barely fusses, loves to be cuddled and just look at those ears! a cuter ear cannot possibly exist. they are downright elfin.

and who doesn't love a baby in a bear suit?

just in case you missed it

2011-01-16T20:57:00.000-08:00

you might remember back in october we went to LA and i got to see modern family shoot. well the episode finally aired and lo and behold i spotted my very own mug for a split second. jon and mal rewound it and david took a picture. i'd recognize that open mouth anywhere i guess.

i got bored watching them do the same take over and over so these pictures are as i was leaving. i would have made a better face had i known EVERYONE IN THE WORLD WOULD SEE AND ALSO RECOGNIZE ME ON TV AT MINUTE 3.57 (i just made up that number). i sure hope the producers call me back to be a creepy open-mouth ghost girl in another episode.

there's a baby in there

2011-01-10T20:34:00.000-08:00

you may not care about this unless you are related to me. but i have been sitting on this secret for 13 weeks and now i want to talk about it!

this is me at our second ultrasound. i think we've had five now. this will be the most photographed fetus i know.

this is baby at 7 weeks. it's the size of a blueberry. get used to the fruit references. (baby is bottom left, that other thing is the yolk sac.)

and this is baby at 12 weeks. size of a lime. the yolk sac looks like a halo by the head. this was the best ultrasound because the doctor let me press on my belly above the baby and it moved! i got real teary. it was magical. i can't believe that is inside me.

don't laugh, but i started documenting my belly. the first one is right after we found out to serve as a before picture. the next one is at 13 weeks. it's not big but it's definitely there. i have the shortest torso of anyone i know. my ribs and hips literally touch while i'm standing. and also i'm short so i'll probably look ready to deliver in a few months. there's really no where to go but out.

and this is what happens when i get home, ride in the car, or at my in-laws if i have a sweatshirt on - pants unzipped. yup, just like the trashy girls at beach in cut-offs. it's getting time for a belly band.

i am very grateful for the chance to have a child. it hasn't been the easiest road getting here. so i don't mean to sound like i'm complaining when i say i have not had an easy time with "morning" sickness. i didn't anticipate how physically grueling it would be all day, every day. i have a lot of respect for moms because of this. and more for the moms who are unable to birth their own children. they must be very strong to have that asked of them.

so, i don't feel sorry for myself when i'm sick. instead i try to look for the humor in my situation. for example, pregnancy is the only time it's possible to lose 9 pounds but still look like you've let yourself go. and also the only time during which i may or may not have thrown up in my own bathwater and also on the car door last night whereupon it froze and remains there. let's laugh together.

and thanks everyone for the kind words. we feel so loved!

the year of the (baby) rabbit

2011-01-05T18:05:00.000-08:00

this is what i imagine heaven looks like

2010-12-30T11:02:00.000-08:00

this place is called urnatur and it's making my itch to go visit nordic countries so much worse. there's another video where this guy makes bread of out tree bark - gluten-free, i could totally eat that. i wonder what it's like to live there permanently. it seems like after one got over the shock of giving up electronics and stores and modern conveniences it might distill them down a bit.

[you have to come out of rss feed to watch it for some reason]

completely unrelated, lucky sent me this song and i really like it.

Mom and I made a standing rib roast - thanks Alton Brown.

2010-12-28T17:43:00.000-08:00

Christmas was fun. We went to Tahoe for a while and then came home to GB for a while and now we're back at our home again for a while.

Me, Mom and Pip.

- David

our nephew is here!

2010-12-23T14:55:00.000-08:00

baby boy wilson arrived on dec 20th early in the morning. it's killing me not to be there right now. i can't wait to get my hands on this little christmas ham! we love him already. you can tell danielle and trav congrats here.

consider this a christmas card?

2010-12-16T14:09:00.000-08:00

this little tree makes me so happy. it smells like oregon and christmastime! it's our only christmas decoration this year and it's kind of a charlie brown tree but it's exactly what i wanted. it looks like it needs to be tilted, but in actuality the whole trunk is crooked so it looks crooked no matter what you do. even if you swear at it under your breath in attempts to get the star on top without bending it but continue to bend it anyway.

true to vanessa form nothing matches. i just realized i only own one tablecloth which is doubling as a tree skirt on our dinner table. the round lights are from thailand and they look exactly like the ornaments - also round. don't you love that wrapping paper? it's representing my scandinavian heritage this christmas. thanks ikea.

something you may not know about me is that i love to wrap presents. i take pride in making the most economical use of the paper even when it makes things more difficult... it's just the thrill of the challenge, ya know? my mom used to have me help her wrap presents for my siblings. my parents always made us do chores, get jobs and earn money and we paid for almost everything ourselves but around christmas we got spoiled. and as a child you can't help but be materialistic. my little brother had bunk beds so we would camp out on christmas eve and dream about presents and santa claus. it was so magical. i still have fond memories of my moon shoes.

and even though i don't lust after gifts like i used to, i really look forward to this time of year. i love listening to sufjan's christmas album and the mo-tab choir. i love all the festivities and christmas programs and people thinking of christ and how to be kinder and better. i love that i am getting a nephew any day now, and i love that this is my second christmas with david.

and if you are in need of new christmas tunes, veronica has a good list. i've got this on repeat. and merry christmas!

catch up

2010-12-02T12:42:00.000-08:00

we kept hatching plans to get out of the country for our anniversary (which i accidentally kept calling our honeymoon? apparently you only get one of those...) but in the end we buzzed up to tahoe and it was beautiful.

i love this fireplace.

david get's embarrassed when i ask strangers to take our picture

but if i left it up to him these are the only kinds of shots i would have of myself. here i am trying to make cocoa with ghiradelli chocolate and water. it just makes syrup in case you're wondering.

a little later we ventured up to oregon. i got to show david my hometown and hang out with mom and brother. my mom made yummy food for us and made me try on japanese pajamas that involved bloomers that she got me in thailand. there are two cats living at that house now and i don't think i like it. goldie would roll over in her grave if she knew...

i never realized i grew up in basically the country until i went back this time with a new perspective. this is lithia park, if your middle school ever went to the shakespearean festival you probably ate your lunches here.

then we got to portland to stay with these lovely folks. they took us all around and mal found every celiac friendly restaurant there was. we loved it and we love them. we want to move there soon. this is jon's coy face and theo's blinded by the flash face:

thanks for letting us sleep in your room theo!

happy birthday bellie-boo

2010-12-01T08:00:00.000-08:00

[update: a special prize to anyone who can guess what she is dressed as]

danielle turns 30 today! she doesn't look a day over 10 does she? and can you believe she is about to give birth to baby number 2? my birthday wish for her is that baby boy keeps incubating at least until she get's the carpet installed in her house. we love her!

bed bug

2010-11-10T21:42:00.000-08:00

we've gotten to spend a lot of time with this girl the past few days. she is the most articulate toddler i've ever heard. (is 3 still within toddlerdom?) it's like having a conversation with an adult. she even makes pretty compelling arguments. maybe she'll go to law school like her daddy.

we also found out that she is a tornado at night when she slept between david and i. i would wake up to find her lying perpendicular at our knees or with her little hand thrust out to into me like she was dreaming, "stop in the name of love." even with the tornado aspect we liked having her sleep over, however, she is a much better cuddler when she is awake and scoopy-doo is on netflix.

one down

2010-11-07T10:28:00.000-08:00

today is our first wedding anniversary! somehow my concept of time is very distorted since getting married. when asked, it takes me a moment to think of how long we've been married as well as my age. i have to remind myself that i'm not 25 and david and i aren't dating anymore. i suppose it's that relativity einstein talks about - the hot stove and the pretty girl. i imagine it might feel the same on our 50th anniversary as well. i have learned a lot in the last year - about myself and of david - and can confidently say i'm a better person because of our marriage. i consider myself very very lucky.

We're moving?

2010-11-06T19:48:00.000-07:00

Hey Nessie, instead of moving to all those countries we day dream about, I have a better idea:

THE RED PLANET

They're taking volunteers. We could be two of the first six. What do you say? Buzz "Lightyear" Aldrin would say to do it. I know NASA is only paying 1 way, but they're adding 30 more people later...?

My Photoshopping skillz get better by the day

2010-11-02T20:10:00.000-07:00

RUGF2?

2010-11-02T13:05:00.000-07:00

i recently found out i have celiac disease. one day i will tell you the entire long story of how we found this out but for now i'll give you the boring basics.

it's an autoimmune disease that you are born with and at some point in your life, becomes activated. on average people find out they have the disease 9-10 years after it's actually started. when a person with the disease eats gluten (the protein in wheat and other similar grains) the body attacks itself, specifically the small intestine, resulting in many different kinds of health problems. it's not the same as an allergy. the reaction is much different and the damage often goes on silently inside your body (much the same way that cancer does) until symptoms become severe. it is estimated that 1 in 133 people have it and those with irish ancestry are particularly at risk.

there is no cure for the disease, but happily there is a way to control it. that is by never ever eating gluten again. this is a tricky prescription for a few reasons.
1.) we live in the the U.S. and wheat is the grain of choice.
2.) bread and pasta are cheap
3.) gluten is in everything.

it's not just pasta or bread but it's also used as a thickener and binder in most packaged products. it can even be found in soy sauce, toothpaste and lipstick! one time i went two days without brushing my teeth until i could verify my toothpaste was gluten-free. and while i'm being honest lipstick has never been a priority...

i've been off gluten for nearly a month now and am starting to get the hang of it. i have great oral hygiene and even got some GF lipgloss. those are the easy parts, however. eating away from home is the hard part. restaurants are anxiety inducing, quizzing gracious hosts on each ingredient in their lovely dinner is maddening, missing my beloved sourdough bread makes me want to pout like a two year-old. and much like a toddler i have to pack snacks to take with me to ensure i will have a safe meal option. but let me tell you, i have been feeling way too good to ever go back. the nausea, fatigue and constant headaches went away instantly are just a memory now, the other problems will likely take longer. (it can take up to 2 years for your intestine to heal completely.)

i got a book aptly titled, "celiac disease: a hidden epidemic" by peter h.r. green and i take it everywhere as a reference. it's the best book on the matter. on the back of the book there is a kind of checklist for celiac disease. i'll post it here so you can see if it's something you want to look into. i hope i'm not breaking some kind of copyright law...

birthdays everywhere!

2010-10-31T21:09:00.000-07:00

today is jenny's 27th and we also celebrated grace's 3rd (even though g's is on thanksgiving, both are holiday babies this year). here is one of my favorite pictures of the girls, and mark looks pretty dapper as well.

via

here are some things you may or may not know about jenny, she is:

- is an expert baker, and loves to share her treats

- loves shopping and is on a first name basis with the target employees

- can talk to and make friends with just about anyone

- has a very big heart

- likes escargot, caviar, brussel sprouts and grocery store cupcakes with the neon frosting

- is one of the most enthusiastic people i know

- can always be counted on to help out

- cuts her own bangs!

- has really great eyebrows

- loves all things on tlc and no reservations

- is feisty and has been known to brandish and use her sharp elbows on mark

- is one fot the only people who makes me feel tall at 5'1.5"

she is a great sis in-law and we love her! welcome to your mid 20s!

carvin punkins

2010-10-27T12:35:00.000-07:00

my mom used to call me "punkin" which evolved into "punk" for short. i assumed this was a totally normal nickname.

last weekend we went to b & k's house for a halloween party. karen had been cooking and decorating like a mad woman. the place looked like it was straight out of a magazine. everything we ate had a spooky name, orange and black color scheme, or fall theme. you should probably hire karen as a party planner.

vivs didn't enjoy the party as much as the rest of us. jenny got her to smile and laugh later but she shut down when my camera came out. so tricky that one. isn't jenny's hair cute?

these were butternut squash filled with veggies, curry, and spices. i love fall food.

enjoying some mummy dogs. grace looking more like a moss everyday.

don't worry, we brought our deep fryer and also made doughnuts. grace is coating them with sugar.

then we got down to business.

i am like a child for the holidays so needless to say i had been thinking of how to carve my pumpkin the entire week before.

here are david's and mine. it was the best paint job we could do in the rain. david used a pattern but i totally freehanded mine. i can tell you're impressed.

but i don't blame you if you're more impressed with this picture of brad and karen. they pull off being scary while keeping the spark alive.

look what david made

2010-10-27T01:32:00.001-07:00

a month in a few minutes.

happy 22 clay clay!

2010-10-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

william clay is the last single wilkes boy, so if you have been wondering how you can get into the wilkes family, here is your chance! let me tell you all the reason why this one is a catch.

clay is a returned missionary

he has great dental strength,

he has long fingers that paint, play the piano, or rest on his cheek in a mysterious manner,

he works at the MTC and hablas espanol muy fluento,

he loves babies and napping,

and just look at that complexion! nary a blemish to be found.

quite a guy, this one. we love baby clay, happy happy birthday!!!

"i can actually hear you getting fatter"

2010-10-20T16:49:00.000-07:00

so, saturday i sent david to the store with a list and he returned with a few items that were not on it. namely 2 quarts of peanut oil and some cornish game hens. he dusted off his never-been-used deep fryer (an item he had purchased as a single man) and got busy.

leftover oil + potatoes = instant appetizer

here is our dinner of potato chips, fried chicken, boiled potatoes and...

an entire chocolate cake. it took us 4 days of eating cake for breakfast to do it, but as you can see we are no quitters.

los angeles

2010-10-17T00:57:00.001-07:00

i had no idea how far reaching my inner rap repertoire was until this weekend when i was in LA and tupac, dr. dre and friends would not get out of my head. at least they left room for the red hot chili peppers and "under the bridge." what's more confusing is the fact that i was still in grade school when those songs came out...

we started out in huntington beach to play in the water and see some old friends.

leave it to us to get sunburned after being out for one hour in october.

the beach was packed. the water looked pretty suspect but chris and lucy's surfer home teacher (also singer from the aquabats and had a bit part in 16 candles) assured us it was red tide which has something to do with algae.

staying with chris & lucy was so fun. me and lucy should have just slept on the couch since we stayed up until 2 am anyway, chatting away like we were at a middle-school sleepover.

this is us being as thug as one can be while playing mexican train dominoes. also, if you are wondering why you are getting hungry while viewing this picture, it's because my right forearm looks like a meaty drumstick from a thanksgiving turkey.

next night was up late again with ryan & erica. oh how i wish we lived closer to them. i decided to include the following because it looks like david is photo bombing erica (who can't take a bad picture), nugget, and ryan putting his shirt on.

which is much funnier than this one, although i must admit they are a good looking group.

this is the hotel we stayed in while in LA. it's so hip that the sign is upside down!

and there was an organ in the lobby.

and our shower was in the middle of the room.

this face is one i learned while i had braces for 3 years. it also works when i have a mouth full of food. or more specifically, cupcake.

i got visit my friend kari for lunch where she works at the grove, a very upscale mall and also the new home to the show "extra" hosted by none other than a.c. slater from saved by the bell.

kari hooked me up with free all day parking so i was able to hang out and watch some filming for modern family at the grove. i totally made eye contact with cam, so that was pretty awesome. i was so starstruck. if you'll notice he is pushing an empty stroller because lily had a meltdown and wasn't having it. the director and assistants actually call the babies lily even when cameras aren't rolling. i suppose it's easier than distinguishing identical twins. after i got bored and left to go shopping, i almost ran right into one of them (jaden) who was being a normal toddler and running around. she was darling.

i believe this girl is from 24?

i took some video of it but i'm too tired to deal with that, perhaps i will later. or you can just wait for it to air on t.v. and the sound will be better.

Octoberfest!

2010-10-15T10:35:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my mother, I present to you...
(Sorry Google Reader readers, you're going to have to click through to see what I'm presenting you...)

Don't let Vanessa fool you

2010-10-05T07:35:00.000-07:00

Although she claims not to be a triathlete, she actually is. AND, she tougher than the Norseman competitors. The water at the Norseman is balmy 59 degrees, and the water at Strawberry reservoir was solid snow mere seconds before entering the reservoir and turning to liquid. I wouldn't dare jump in.

Plus, she has perfect form:

The competitors at Norseman have to have a nutrition plan, they prepare for months in advance, and they wear wimpy "wetsuits" with "eye protection". Not Nessie. At the drop of a hat, she'll jump into the ice turned water and swim across with a smile:

This happened up in the mountains of Wyoming, where the water was snow melt and none of the Wilkes boys had been in the water since Dad threw Clay in, in 1999 (he was only 11 and very light).

Here she is getting out of the water in her swim suit.

She is also much smarter than the Norseman competitors, because instead of having to pay 2,000 Krones, she was paid 200 dollars. Beauty and brains.. sickening isn't it.

This was only the beginning because later that night, Vanessa competed in the Women's Championship stick pull thing, where she came in first in the Feather Weight Hot Blond Category.

She also was tending babies the entire week. So, if that's not a triathlete, I don't know what is.

Can you guess what this is?

2010-10-04T16:04:00.000-07:00

Winner gets a prize. It's not ice cream. ~~I'll tell you tomorrow.~~

It's chicken nuggets!

Good work Emily. Your prize is chicken nuggets! Come over when you want them.

Although, there is some controversy on just exactly how gross this is.

i can think of a few other women who will enjoy this post...

2010-09-30T11:42:00.000-07:00

this girl is so much fun now. she is old enough to have a complete conversation with me on video chat but still enjoys being tickled and kissed through the computer screen. she's only two and a half but doesn't she look older? it's that long neck i suppose. i wonder how many years i have before she passes my 5'4.5" inch frame to join the ranks of her elegantly tall wilson aunts (who probably don't claim half inches whenever possible).

wah

2010-09-30T00:58:00.000-07:00

you're not going to believe this, but today was the third time the front-right corner of my car has been hit. now lest you think me a deleterious driver let me also tell you that for the first two collisions, i wasn't even in the car. it was parked. once when my beloved roommate lauren backed into it and once when the woman i nannied for was filling it with gas when another woman without insurance backed into it. what? i know.

this time, however, i was driving my car (alone) when a nice vietnamese-looking man in a red minivan decided he was dissatisfied with his far right lane wanted to relocate to the very lane into which i was turning. if i could navigate adobe illustrator i would diagram it for you but that's not the important part. the important part is twofold: i have a really bad neck-ache and feel sorry for me.

i know i'm lucky, i know no one was hurt, i know we have insurance, i know it could have been worse. so, now that that's out of the way, i just want your sympathy, plain and simple. thank you in advance. here's to hoping this expired pain pill leftover from an ankle injury three years ago will get me crunk enough to fall asleep in my preferred stomach position. and with that i bid you goodnight.

[taken after david hack-sawed a large chunk out to assuage my fear that the entire bumper would fall off from rubbing on the tire and cause an even worse accident.]

apparently i've been misspelling triathlon all my life.

2010-09-27T11:14:00.000-07:00

david likes to make fun of people who blog about their athletic succeses, but i don't care, i will continue to do it anyway. i discovered i really like participating in triathlons in the capacity of taking pictures and sitting under shady trees.

mark asked david to be the swimmer for a relay triathlon they did saturday at folsom lake. mike smith was their cycler (cyclist?) and judging by his leg muscles, was an excellent choice. markie brought the pain with his 4' long leg advantage and david brought his bat-like lat muscles and cheshire cat smile.

it was a .75 mile swim, 13 mile bike, and 5 mile run.

behold, team vortex

david had to choose between wearing a wet suit and shaving his whole body. he chose wet suit and it got warm in there.

here is mark just before: a) letting out indian war cries, shadow boxing to eminem's "lose yourself" or b) sipping on water and skipping his stretches. you decide.

mike and maximum chest exposure, a little something for the ladies. and by ladies i mean his wife.

david's finishing his swim, i think i was more nervous/excited than he was. he hadn't swam in a year, but did great.

97 degrees at the end of september? sacramento doesn't seem to know it's fall. and no one likes to sweat in the fall.

mark is all smiles.

he had some cheerleaders at the end.

and what do you know, they placed 5th in the men's division! just think what they could do if they actually trained...

labor day

2010-09-15T00:10:00.000-07:00

gma and gpa chang were nice enough to let us use the tahoe cabin for labor day. jenny and mark, bagozzis, weirs, and cooleys were up there even longer. we wish we had come up for more than one night it was so fun. jason is a master chef, who knew? having couples cabin time is the best. not to mention all the cute babes running around, there was always one to hold.

david and i stopped at some flea markets on the way in. i got some sail boat earrings which i'm pretty excited about (not pictured).

there was a man with two wolves there. this one was acting really shifty and i was 60% sure he was going to lunge at me and my camera. i asked the man if he had ever bitten a person and he responded, "well, i had a girlfriend who bit me so they can be dangerous too!" whhhhhat? we got the heck out of there.

it was hot.

emerald bay, the lake was swarming with people.

the cabin was built in the 70s i think? and it has the most awesome wall paper. i hope they never re-decorate. this is the downstairs bathroom.

it has a sauna and i love this sign.

here are some more bathrooms.

karen in rug form.

i always make jenny braid my hair because she is so much better at it. she got a little creative this time. think how long i could go without washing my hair if i could braid it like this myself...

here's the outside from on top of our car. i'm always cautious outside ever since gma chang told me about a bear who climbed in through the kitchen window screen and was caught sitting on the counter eating fruit!

folk for your friday

2010-09-10T14:13:00.000-07:00

though mightily i try, my husband won't be convinced into liking my music. as his brother mark noted, i had some success with bon iver and arcade fire, but the second i play anything like the darlings below i get eye-rolling and mock-wailing. perhaps you will be more appreciative. and if not, keep it to yourself, i can only handle so much musical rejection. without further ado, swedish teenaged sisters and an ironically named dane, respectively:

FIRST AID KIT | HARD BELIEVER from RADAR MAKER on Vimeo.

The Tallest Man On Earth - Love Is All from wanderingdays on Vimeo.

here i go to look for a good date idea. i like seeing movie's at the theater but there is nothing good out. if there's one thing i hate (alas, there are many) it's spending time and money on mediocrity. is it just me or is this the longest movie drought history? inception was the last one i loved.

any ideas? what are you and yours doing for the weekend?

i love david, get it?

2010-09-08T14:14:00.000-07:00

somehow i published this on accident without any text. anyway, here are a few pictures. i'll get to some more later.

nothing makes you examine the symmetry (or rather asymmetry) of your face like a middle part...

i was making eggs the other morning and they did this on their own! or i suppose with the help of a slanted burner. we eat a lot of eggs around here.

he's hungry and he's not going to smile.

happy birthday karen!

2010-09-04T22:52:00.000-07:00

here are some things you may not know about karen:

she is great at wrapping gifts and has an entire closet devoted to just this.

her favorite shows are modern family, always sunny in philadelphia, 30 rock and arrested development [may it rest in peace].

she is really funny and when she thinks something else is really funny her laugh sounds like she is in pain.

she can do a surprising amount of manual labor considering her size.

she loves taking photos has a lens that could double as a billy club.

she loves macy's, hosing off concrete, the colors red and black, bubble gum ice cream, hawaii, zone bars, the dinner table scene from talladega nights, and her family.

she dislikes when david doesn't wear socks to church, getting into the ocean, and having pale skin.

and last but not least, she will put on a mumu and do the hustle upon request:

wish her a happy 39th birthday!

we like to eat

2010-08-30T00:29:00.000-07:00

today my mother in-law karen said, "i'd love to have more time so i could try out lots of new things to cook."

and i said, "that's exactly what i do!" and i love it. my mom said you just learn by trying, and she is a good cook so she must be right. it doesn't hurt that my husband will eat anything i put in front of him and tells me it's awesome no matter what the actual outcome is.

david also likes to cook and i love it when he does. we are low on groceries so tonight he made us macaroni & cheese and green beans cooked in black pepper sauce. meanwhile i pulled a chair into our tiny kitchen and showed him everything he should own in the latest j.crew catalog.

here are some of our favorite things we've had recently, in case you want to try them, too. my favorite dinners are ones that don't take a lot of preparation. i have the attention span of a four year-old in the kitchen and lose interest if things are too involved.

potato, squash and goat cheese gratin

it's hard to go wrong with a dish that involves goat cheese and potatoes. i probably licked an entire ounce off my fingers while i crumbled it in. i also made salmon but it turned out a little rare for my liking and then i couldn't eat it - even after i put it back in the over - because of my food borne illness phobia. moving on swiftly...

soba noodles with wilted bok choy

bok choy is a good way to expand your green veggie horizon and feel exotic at the same time. i would recommend using the poached egg with it. this was my first time eating buckwheat noodles and i liked them until the got in my stomach and then they felt spongey, in a not pleasant way. i don't know how to explain it better than that. david did not have that reaction though so you're chances of spongey-ness after are 50/50.

chili, lemon, and basil shrimp with israeli couscous

i saved the best for last. this one was so delicious that i ate it cold for breakfast the next morning. and then put it in david's lunch to take to work (it makes a lot). as he was heating it up at lunchtime he mentioned to his co-workers that i offered to make them cookies and one replied, "tell her we want some of that shrimp stuff instead." and then tried to get him to share it.

i searched high and low (so, two stores) for israeli couscous but couldn't find it so just use whatever type you've got. i used at least two times the basil as they are practically giving it away at the farmers market and i'm running out of uses for it.

and if you have any recipes for me, please share!

happy birthday cub!

2010-08-26T13:24:00.000-07:00

he's the cute baby in the food-laden onesie. i love you! have a happy day!

while i was looking through old pictures i came across this one of ryan and danielle. i might have to submit it to awkward family photos. those faces! and whose hand is in the background supporting danielle's head? perhaps my mom just told ryan that santa wasn't real. or that he was adopted. or that he was dressed like a keebler elf.

wilkes reunion: take one

2010-08-16T23:08:00.005-07:00

this was my first wilkes reunion and it was awesome. there were so many cousins and cousins babies running under foot it was full time chaos and entertainment. david and i got to stay a few miles away (since the big cabin was packed full) in a a little cabin called the wolf den. it had wolf paintings, wolf bedspread and even a wolf shower curtain! it's as awesome as you are imagining right now. we loved it because we had a bathroom and cable tv all to ourselves. we only have one of those things at home.

to lauren's credit she was trying to stop this from happening.

david and i parked at strawberry having a philosophical discussion. because when you're married, that's what you do when in a parked car.

i'm not very good at taking action shots of basketball because i have no idea what's going on, ergo i cannot anticipate an awesome lay-up or something.

but here's what i can (and did) anticipate: david wearing running shoes to play basketball and spraining his ankle. here he is hiding in shame and wishing he'd listened to his wife. that's ice under the pink baby blanket - thanks karen!

this is the backyard

this could be a desktop if it were horizontal. do i need to start watermarking?

markie discussing politics. i can't remember what though, because it was eclipsed by the following picture.

the scariest spider i have ever seen and that includes the one in the thai massage place that was the size of my hand. this one was fat and albino looking. it's creeping me out just to talk about it. but i had to show it. oh no this is totally going to haunt my dreams now. why do i do this to myself???

if a parent was wondering where their child was was, they could usually be found in front of the bon fire, or right next to the bon fire striking something with a hatchet or a knife.

you may be against their incredibly unrestrictive gun laws, but legal bottle rockets for all will win you over.

clay and gpa kay

this is eric and that is claire. when she gets excited her moves her arms like arsenio hall but without the "whup" noises.

jenny, karen and baby viv. when she gets excited she eats and sleeps.

this is the freezing cold reservoir that i swam across. here is clay trying to out-do me.

i guess he succeeded.

i would like to blame my greasy hair on the campfire or something but this is pretty much how it always look.

everyone's handprints were put there in 2007 from the first reunion. there wasn't much room for mine this year because apparently no one had confidence that david or clay would get married. clay's wife might have to be a child or a midget to fit on there now. sorry clay.

please don't judge me

2010-08-16T22:28:00.002-07:00

i flew out to utah for a few days to see my siblings before i headed out to wyoming for the wilkes reunion. i accidentally left my camera at b & k's house in sacramento so i don't have a single picture but it was really fun. highlights include:

- being greeted at all hours of the morning by avery who is a talking machine now. she can have a conversation about anything. she refers to people possessively as in, "you talkin to you(r) david, nessie?" or my favorite "this my ness."

- a night out with danielle which started with shopping and ended with me losing my dinner in a cemetery late at night. i fully expected to get arrested for it, but there really was no where else to pull over and i promise i avoided any actual graves. an already embarrassing situation made worse by a man riding his bike 5 feet away from me who graciously pretended not to see me. in my haste i dropped my cell phone there and we had to go back to the cemetery and lurk around for it. i'm 99% sure this was all caused by the fermented tasting artichoke hearts at jason's deli in the gateway.

- my brother ryan found his old nintendo and hooked it up to his tv. ryan, danielle and i played dr. mario for 4 hours straight like we were in grade school again. ryan was the reining champ but i have to say, i improved a lot in those 4 hours. danielle was probably the best under pressure. i totally understand gaming obsessions now. that game is the gateway drug of all games. ryan's tv is 52 inches so the pixels were the size of my thumbnail, which made it hard to distinguish the images on the screen when our eyelids became heavy at 2 am. but we powered through it.

happy birthday brad!

2010-08-06T10:54:00.002-07:00

brad just being the master of his domain

and with the love of his life

and on our big day.

a few things you may be interested to know about my father in-law:

- his actual name is J Bradley Wilkes. just the letter. but he goes by brad.

- as karen tells it, he once had to fire someone for his job and by the time brad finished talking to him, the man thought it was the best day of his life. he's a very positive person.

- he use to pain train his sons when they were young by pinching them during church so they had to be quiet. david also tells me he likes to text them all at once while in church.

- he's very warm and tender, he loves all the additions of girls to the family.

- he juggles at all impromptu family talent shows.

he's a great dad, we love him!

the park

2010-08-04T00:02:00.000-07:00

this is where david and i go nearly everyday. it's really big and there is a pool, rose gardens, duck pond, play ground, and more. there are always lots of people out jogging the perimeter. my camera isn't fancy and it was getting dark but isn't it pretty?

while out the other day i told david i was going to run back home to get my camera. when i returned i found him literally asleep on the park bench.

church across the street

i can't get over all the huge old palm trees everywhere. they seem very glamorous to me for some reason.

the transient looking much more angelic in this one.

perhaps soon i'll take some of our little apartment.

if i weren't scared of live wires

2010-08-03T23:44:00.000-07:00

i would make this.

via ready made

who else had asparagus for dinner?

2010-07-29T23:44:00.000-07:00

an entire pound,

by themselves,

greedily plucking them out of the baking dish with their fingers while standing in front of the stove?

oh, so just me then.

don't worry, david didn't want any. so i guess he won't have this to look forward to.

some pictures

2010-07-26T15:50:00.001-07:00

christian got married

so these friends were in town

played drums with lucky, who brought david a boubou from his mission.

mindi and her tiny baby, she just graduated out of premie clothes!

avery's arm rolls are almost gone... sad day. this picture reminds me of myself when i was little.

feeding the horses by my sisters new house, it feels like heaven outside.

Would you do it?

2010-07-26T13:54:00.000-07:00

happy birthday vivi

2010-07-21T15:01:00.000-07:00

born early this morning, and she is already a good eater and sleeper. don't you just want to nibble those cheeks? she was a very healthy 9 lbs 6 oz. we love her. good job jenny!

it's business time

2010-07-16T11:01:00.004-07:00

(i know danielle caught the f.o.t.c. reference.)

we love san francisco and wonder why we don't get out there more often because it's just a few hours away. luckily, david had a convention for work there for a few days and so everything got comped. we love business trips! at least we do right now while i don't have a job and can tag along.

while david was busy during the day i walked around union square, ate sourdough til my jaw gave out, read books, coveted in CB2, played with makeup in sephora, and took bubble baths in a tub so big my feet didn't touch then end when i laid in it. so pretty awesome.

driving into the morning fog/smog.

david making model lips at his soup.

we went to a french place that played jazz all night.

david and some ghost woman that made her way into the picture. it's july, i have no excuse for that complexion.

if you havin parking problems i feel bad for you son. five cars deep in this alley.

crab at alioto's. this was the closest i could get him to putting on his bib. poor sport!

this guy was much more obliging. i asked if i could take his picture while he was pulling crabs out of the tank with tongs. he says, "sure, you want me to hold one?" why yes. yes i do.

just listening to some solar speakers. i snuck into david's convention on the last day. they have that place on lock for some reason. david gave me a pass to wear so i was "tatiana perez" for the day.

then we went to japantown. i could have spent the whole day there! everything is written in japanese and we were some of the only non-japans walking around. they were really nice to david though, considering they are his people's mortal enemies...

waiting for our sushi

eating our sushi. sometime shortly before this david knocked over his full glass of water. then i spilled water all over myself. our poor waitress.

davey's noggin eclipsing the peace pagoda.

then we peaced outta there!

(see what i did there?)